


Missing Them

by SmilesRawesome



Series: Adopting Jake [2]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Adopting, Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Autistic Jake Peralta, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Jake Peralta has ADHD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-30 20:31:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15759138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmilesRawesome/pseuds/SmilesRawesome
Summary: He was trying really hard to be good for his new guardians. He liked them, even if they didn’t smile or show much emotion at all. But tonight, he just missed his mum.Or, Jake’s emotions burst, but his foster parents are there to comfort him.





	Missing Them

**Author's Note:**

> This one is a liiiiittle more angsty than the last one, but ends fluffy, and I promise the next one is FILLED with fluff.  
> Also disclaimer: I’m Australian and I hate spelling words the American way so there’s a lot of “mum” rather than “m*m” and i love y’all but y’all are just gonna have to deal thank youuu <3.

Jake really did want to go to sleep. 

  
  


He was trying really hard to be good for his new guardians. He liked them, even if they didn’t smile or show much emotion at all. They had explained to him what fostering was, which is what this situation was, and he also understood that the foster families could make requests for different children if they found the children too wild or difficult. Jake couldn’t stand the thought of going back to that centre. 

  
  


It had been two and a half weeks since Kevin and Raymond had brought him into their home, and Jake felt like he should be happy, but he wasn’t. His guardians were… he wasn’t sure if it was kindness or tolerance of him, understanding what they felt was so hard, but they weren’t mean. They didn’t yell, they had bought him Die Hard on VHS, had started helping him read in a way that didn’t make his head hurt. 

  
  


But tonight he just missed his mum. 

  
  


He missed her all the time, for some reason it just felt  _ worse _ tonight. He wanted his mum, he wanted his dad to not have left, he wanted to see Gina and his Nana again, and while his time here had been nice so far, he just wanted to go  _ home _ . 

  
  


Jake had mastered the art of crying silently, before so wouldn’t wake his mum while she was sick and needed so much rest, and now so he wouldn’t bother Raymond and Kevin. This was not silent crying. He was simply too overwhelmed by the events of the past few years, and especially the last month that he just couldn’t contain the loud heaving sobs that tore out of him. 

  
  


His face was soaked with tears, and so was Baby Bunny’s face as he clutched the toy close to him. His head hurt and it was hard to breathe but he just couldn’t stop sobbing. He couldn’t stop wishing and hoping and praying to God that this nightmare would be over, that he’d wake up and everything would be like it was before the doctors told mum she was sick. 

  
  


The door to his bedroom opened, spilling light from the hall into the room, partly blocked by the shadows of his guardians. This only made Jake cry harder, because he didn’t want to bother them, he didn’t want to be annoying. 

  
  


Before he knew what was happening, big warm hands were on him, rubbing his back, stroking his hair, holding his arms. It wasn’t like the hugs his mum used to give him, but it was still so comforting. A few minutes of this and he eventually managed to hear the reassurances Raymond and Kevin were telling him, calming him even further until eventually he was mostly quiet. He was hiccuping and sniffling, but he was no longer sobbing. 

  
  


“Are you alright, Jake? Could you tell us what’s wrong?” Kevin asked softly as Raymond handed him a tissue box to dry his face. Jake wiped at his face while he shook his head. He didn’t want them to think he was ungrateful. They had taken him in when he was no better than an orphan. 

“I know it can be difficult, but I think it would help you, and if we know what’s wrong, we can help you fix it.” Kevin continued, and Jake didn’t know where it came from, but he was suddenly so, so  _ angry _ . 

  
  


“You can’t fix it!” He screamed, his voice rough on his throat but high pitched in anger. “She’s dead! She’s dead and my dad hates me and I can’t see Nana or Gina ever again and I don’t even know if you like me and I miss my mum so much.” He broke down into another few sobs, before taking a deep breath and continuing. “I miss her so, so much and I couldn’t help her get better and my dad didn’t even try and- and- and- and it won’t stop  _ hurting _ .” Tears were still pouring, but he was able to breathe enough to keep the sobbing at bay, shaking like a leaf in a storm. 

  
  


“Oh, Jacob.” Raymond said quietly, and Jake flinched at the name. 

“No!” He snapped, clutching his bunny even tighter. “No I don’t want that name anymore! That’s what he called me! But he hates me because I couldn’t help mum get better! I don’t want it! I don’t want it!” His throat hurt from screaming and crying, but he didn’t know what else to do. His emotions were just so big and overwhelming and confusing right now he just wanted to get them out. 

  
  


Half a moment later, Kevin had pulled him in tight, tucking him against his chest, hugging him close and Jake just melted into the embrace. Raymond left, but came back with a glass of water that he insisted on Jake drinking. Once half the glass was gone, Kevin started talking. 

“Losing a parent does hurt. I can’t promise that it will always be easy, but it will get better. It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to be angry, be as sad and angry as you want. Don’t try and keep it inside you, it’s just going to get worse until it explodes out of you. Raymond and I are here for you, Jake, for whatever you need, and we do like you, we are very, very fond of you, Jake. If we can find your family… we’ll help you get in touch with them, okay? I promise you, everything will work out in the end, you’ll see. Now, please finish your water and then you can have a warm glass of milk downstairs.” 

  
  


Jake expected Kevin to let go as they moved to go downstairs, but to his surprise he did not. Jake took the opportunity he could get, wrapping his legs around the man’s waist and his arms around his neck, his head tucked into his shoulder. The man didn’t complain, just ran his hand through his curls as Raymond moved around the kitchen heating up the milk. He was carried into the library area, Kevin situating them both on one of the couches before Raymond handed over the glass. 

  
  


“Is there something you want to do, Jake?” Raymond asked, his low voice sounding like it would make for a great bedtime story. 

“Do you guys have Narnia?” He asked quietly, chewing on his lip. Raymond found a copy on their shelves, sitting on the couch so Jake was snuggled between them, safe, warm and comfortable. 

  
  


Jake fell asleep to the sound of Raymond’s voice reading, his head resting on the man’s chest. 

  
  


xxxxxxxxxx

  
  


Jake woke up late the next morning, stumbling out of bed still feeling a little drowsy. Baby Bunny was sitting at his own place at the table, freshly washed. He took the toy and held it close, smiling lightly up at Kevin as he came into the room. 

“Good morning, Jake. Are you feeling better?” He asked, Jake nodding. “Would you like some pancakes for breakfast?” 

“Yes please.” He murmured into Baby’s fur, climbing into his seat at the table. 

  
  


When Kevin joined him again with a stack of pancakes, Jake set him aside. He didn’t want to get Baby sticky with syrup after he’d just been washed. 

“I was thinking that, if you’d like, we could place some photos of your mother around the house.” Kevin said around two pancakes in, making Jake pause. 

“Really?” 

“Yes. We’d get some nice frames for them, and we’ll pick some together from your album.” 

  
  


Jake beamed, getting from his chair to throw his arms around Kevin’s neck. 

“Thank you.” He whispered, melting into the returned embrace. 

“You’re very welcome.” 

  
  


xxxxxxxxxx 

  
  


Over the next few weeks, Kevin and Raymond got better at physical affection towards Jake. Not like mum had been, but their own Holt/Cozner brand of it, but Jake didn’t feel nearly as alone as he did before. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! Please leave kudos is you enjoyed and please please comment!!! Comments inspire me to keep writing and each one fills my heart with joy.


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